When I sit around people who I don't dislike, in fact they are the ones I spend the maximum time with, in the whole day. I look at them, and I admit I have to smile, I say "I have to" because it does not come from within implicitly. What is it? How come with people whom you don't meet for months, you strike a better cord. Your old friends, your friends from childhood and high school. How come they are the easier lot to get along with. They are not even in touch with you, they don't even know what is going on in your life's, but when they do meet you they are updated in a minute and they say what you want to hear. If I ask why is it that the people we spend the maximum time of our lives, from morning to evening when we work together, we cant connect to them the way we connect to the rest.
How can I be a different person all day long. Speak calculatively, run the filter mechanism before uttering a word . I cant be my controversial self. I cant be what my rest of the friends think I am > "A Super High Woman". Why does professionalism have to change me. Or is that "The Changed Me" called the professional me??
What amazes me is how i am so changed just for these few hours of the day. I have a dead thick skin, enough so not to change me to the core. But this transition-i dint try for it, i just don't have to work towards it at all. It comes on to me, takes over me naturally.
I can talk the whole day,but not on what is on my mind. That I shall do when i get out sit in my car and call up and blurt out, vomit out and then drive back safely.
But yes, i can talk on anything you want me to talk about, on things that do not matter and on things that do matter but to you(May be thats just me).
I was just wondering how people leave one by one and you don't mis them either.you don't miss the absence,you accustom yourself to the place and work and not the people.its unbelievable how a man as a social animal can not be connected to humans more than work.you need people around but they can be replaced by any, it dose not matter.What is important is they should be there when you work.
Competition kills your friendship.it just doesn't let it blossom , you never know your good friend (as you thought ) might be a very good actor.The life is different for those hours. You are tagged as colleagues and that spoils the show. Any other place where this tag would not exist I would have had wonderful people to stay in touch with for life, outside the premises of that building it could be better, but inside -time is not everything.it heals nothing, it breaks nothing, it has no existence at all.No matter how much time you do spend, inside the building -everything is colleagues- under one arms distance of thoughts!
Well the question is weather this is professionalism? If it is- then why does it have to change me.and if you claim i am the same,see me as a quick learner or may be a quicker unlearn'er.you only see one side of me at a time. That is probably the only time I avoid multi tasking! I don't know weather I want to unlearn this lesson of change in -change out. I am going good. Somewhere it does not bother me. Well of course I am not the only one. The feeling is likewise amongst everyone of us. What made me write this today is may be, my over expressive personality, a highly agitated and a controversial soul that i may call myself, does a kind of meditation the whole day in the most important hours. But when i do break the fast of my meditating resting soul.It feels like a quitting smoker just got his fag in the end of the day!
11 comments:
"you accustom yourself to the place and work and not the people"... this is so v true. Also, i like how it ends with the analogy.
what i liked most in it was the reference to time! time heals nothing in case of misunderstanding. time break nothing in case of breaking the ice. the mighty time is immaterial.no matter how much we spend @ shubham , thanx !!!
You gather at work place for a given cause ,irrespective of your likes or dislikes.
And here lies the beauty of professional relations .
As adults we agree to work together for a certain purpose ,going beyond our immediate likes & dislikes.
And that is the beauty .
Enjoy professional relations since they have a direct bearing on your own output,and evolution as a competent worker /leader.
You may hate someone at workplace but his professional competence may be a valuable addition to your own .
If you are in an army facing enemies ,you will love more the competence of your colleagues than the personal equation .
And if you ever fall for a guy at workplace ,I will go n hug him for ignoring your subtle advances assuming he knows his priority .
At work place ,the WORK is supreme ,that is why you are there .
What you are trying to teach me didactically are work ethics and what is expected outa me at the work place. what and how and on what i should concentrate on and not on building relations.Dont you think that is exactly what i had said we gather to do all that and i love the fact . proffesional world and office is totaly a diffrent place.
Probably you dint connect to the feel of the article . its not about pointing what i can learn as a leader follower and up and down that i was talking about,my point was the shift in my personality that comes so gradually.the flair with which we switch roles ,what we miss the friend in case of emergency in case of outburst of emotions. sometimes it becomes suffocating that we are unable to express what we want untill we have time by the eve and we do..
what you said is all that we know is expected out of us from out workplace.
but what i talked about was,hiding of the real me when we are learning to become a leader and follower and manager.(which is gud)
we learn all this with a different facade and not the real one.(which is challenging)
And what is your real self ???
In the temple ?
market place ?
Office ??
Home ??
With friends ?
With a beloved ....if any ?
Or in sasural after you get married ?
haha my real self is everything outside the premisis. yes all that you asked aboved the answer is yes. my real self where i am not judged and where i can give back an answer of clarification in whichever mood i am and i dont have to pay for it. i am myself where i say thngs and get over with it just after the moment i say it. and not face any unnecssary repercuursions becoz of it.anywhre whre ppl wan to friends and care and listen and not crunch thier numbers and sttay on alook out to pull you down alwys.
and yeah i was thinking about falling love with a guy at work place . Never!!!!! yoou know why becoz when he mets me out of office he wud shoked to see a different me!so poor he fallen for the wrong me! so i know it. dont you worry!
hahahah i want to shoot that scene candidly or as a string-operation ,want to see how he gets a fizz in his ears ,poor soul ,he would not know whats befallen him ,hahahahahahaha .
Coming to your point ,problem is when we miss our friends in a temple ,parents n siblings in office ,husbands/fathers/brothers in a market place ,god when with a beloved ,and mayaka when in sasuraal .
You cant assume that real self is what you at home .
The real self is all of these combined together,it is our job to expose that part of our self which is appropriate .
Compare the work-arena to a game of ,say, badminton with someone .
You will enjoy the game if your opponent plays hard ,relentlessly attacks on your weak points ,if you win ---harder the game sweeter the victory ---and if you loose,you cant judge him on moral grounds .
You colleagues should play hard to get you always on toes.
Thats why professional relations are so beautiful,they make us complete in one area .
point 1) what has home to do with it . i am the real self where i am confortably, without being politically correct can be my self...and say abuse and not face consequences... i dont why you are deviting from the disccusion,as you discussing things which we all know and cherish about the work life .. this proffesional side.. is awesum .. it teaches us alot makes us learn alot we all know that . nothing new n all that .. its a known fact probably thats is why we look forward to work in our life every one cherishes it ..(see i have to state all that becoz i think you have majorly misinterpreting the discussion course, you think the article is against the professional world). Well my point is .. the shift the gradual shift from the original me to sophisticated me,its about how emotional intelligence and not what professional world teaches us in
terms of confidence and competition. all that is there my point is in reference to the ability to hide emotions when you the urgency to express.. when you are not in mood, but you have to feel gud just for the sake of it .. the other manipulatively diffent side of you is sometime exhaustive and tiring and then you just pray when this day would get overa nd you wud get back home to hit the bed .. and feel free.that is what i am talking about .... suggestion please the article once again
If you read your write-up again ,you want a home-like or friends-like atmosphere at work place .See a few examples...
=when I sit around ......maximum time ,,,i admit i have to smile ,,,,old friends are easier to get along ,,,,,how can i be a different person,,,,how i am changed,,super high woman ,,,how people leave one by one ,you dont miss them ,,,,how a man cannot be connected to humans ,,,,,competition kills your friendship,,,,you are tagged as a colleague n that spoils d show ,,,,where this tag is not there i will have wonderful people ,,,,,,why this professionalism has to change me ,,,,why i write this is due to my overexpressive personality,highly agitated n controversial soul ,,,,,
Your above lines make me think you find your real self being suppressed in an office ,&your choice to make emotional relations with professional colleagues undermined.
So my first comments were related to the work-place ,& why you go there .
In your follow-up comments you again talk about hiding of real self ,without defining what your real self is .
So ,I asked you pointedly what your real-self is ,& where ??? in my subsequent comments .
To this you say your real self is all that is outside the premises ,while at the same time agreeing with me totally .
How can this be ?
Your assumption that your real self is outside the premises of office is wrong ,this is what I have been stressing.
Your real self is not what you presume it to be ,it is much bigger,& whatever you said your real self is, is nothing but a few traits of your personality which you want colleagues to accept without any reservation ,more like a insecure kid who thinks acceptance is central to his personality .
This is outright a self-centric view ,a self-obsessed attitude .
Do you accept others on the basis of how they define themselves or as you see them ??
So why on earth you want others to accept you the way you define yourself .Others are intelligent too ,they can analyse ,& form their opinion of you as they think rather depend on your definition of yourself.
Your real-self is one whole ,its outward expressions will be different at different places .
You have been selected to do work for an organisation for your ability to contribute to the work ,& not for your real-self as you define ,nor for your ability to form emotional relations .
Why should you miss them then ??
At work ,solve all problems in a professional way ,for example ,if a boss finds fault in your work ,donot react emotionally even if you have a reason to believe he is doing on purpose ,but just give him facts of your work ignoring his emotional content ,that is being professional .
And this what our work teaches us ---sift facts from emotions ---be focussed on facts n work alone ,,,everything else is secondary .This is the enhancement of our real-self at work place ,,,an ability to sift facts from emotions.
You will feel suffocated if you react to emotions than to facts.
By the way ,your assertion that I did not read your article with a feel , or your order masquerading as a suggestion that I read the article again,is imputing motive &reacting emotionally ,while some intellectual argument would have been more appropriate in support.
I suggest you read your article one more time along with comments ,you are utterly wrong in your paradigms .
If you read your write-up again ,you want a home-like or friends-like atmosphere at work place .See a few examples...
=when I sit around ......maximum time ,,,i admit i have to smile ,,,,old friends are easier to get along ,,,,,how can i be a different person,,,,how i am changed,,super high woman ,,,how people leave one by one ,you dont miss them ,,,,how a man cannot be connected to humans ,,,,,competition kills your friendship,,,,you are tagged as a colleague n that spoils d show ,,,,where this tag is not there i will have wonderful people ,,,,,,why this professionalism has to change me ,,,,why i write this is due to my overexpressive personality,highly agitated n controversial soul ,,,,,
Your above lines make me think you find your real self being suppressed in an office ,&your choice to make emotional relations with professional colleagues undermined.
So my first comments were related to the work-place ,& why you go there .
In your follow-up comments you again talk about hiding of real self ,without defining what your real self is .
So ,I asked you pointedly what your real-self is ,& where ??? in my subsequent comments .
To this you say your real self is all that is outside the premises ,while at the same time agreeing with me totally .
How can this be ?
Your assumption that your real self is outside the premises of office is wrong ,this is what I have been stressing.
Your real self is not what you presume it to be ,it is much bigger,& whatever you said your real self is, is nothing but a few traits of your personality which you want colleagues to accept without any reservation ,more like a insecure kid who thinks acceptance is central to his personality .
This is outright a self-centric view ,a self-obsessed attitude .
Do you accept others on the basis of how they define themselves or as you see them ??
So why on earth you want others to accept you the way you define yourself .Others are intelligent too ,they can analyse ,& form their opinion of you as they think rather depend on your definition of yourself.
Your real-self is one whole ,its outward expressions will be different at different places .
You have been selected to do work for an organisation for your ability to contribute to the work ,& not for your real-self as you define ,nor for your ability to form emotional relations .
Why should you miss them then ??
At work ,solve all problems in a professional way ,for example ,if a boss finds fault in your work ,donot react emotionally even if you have a reason to believe he is doing on purpose ,but just give him facts of your work ignoring his emotional content ,that is being professional .
And this what our work teaches us ---sift facts from emotions ---be focussed on facts n work alone ,,,everything else is secondary .This is the enhancement of our real-self at work place ,,,an ability to sift facts from emotions.
You will feel suffocated if you react to emotions than to facts.
By the way ,your assertion that I did not read your article with a feel , or your order masquerading as a suggestion that I read the article again,is imputing motive &reacting emotionally ,while some intellectual argument would have been more appropriate in support.
I suggest you read your article one more time along with comments ,you are utterly wrong in your paradigms .
Post a Comment