absence!

When the feeling is there you are not there, when life takes a turn and i need to bend down and i need your help , your hand is missing. I know if you would have known that need it you would have come running and would taken me in your arms. But your presence no matter how much you try, would still be missing. I try to remember everything i can , so that when i talk to you , i don't want to miss a thing. You presence can be made available as much as i want i can. By narrating the incident may be you would become the same part of my life as you were. No matter how much i forgive the absence that will never go away and that's about it!

There have been times when i have tried to remember each incident as it was so that i could listen to what your reaction. the problems are never just ending its either the the way i deal with them has changed or the way update you that has change. But probably change is the only permanent thing. and Just waiting for more changes.

tug of war!

When living for existing is all you can do. You have no option but to just breathe in and out and feel you are alive. That feeling is enough to remind you that nothing is invariably wrong as breathing reaffirms you are here to live. When its love and hate bound together its all about staying there and not feeling repulsed by either. With time neither of the them irk you off. In fact resilience from one makes you drive towards the other with renewed vigor. Love eventually levels to hatred and the reason of this hatred primarily being love never lets it take its real shape. It might be sad that at times is become insanely difficult to put a finger on which is the predominant feeling as both reside at equally spaced moments.But in hearts of hearts you know which one is a predecessor and which feeling is the successor. Over a period of time in relationships an argument becomes a necessicity to break the the monotonous feeling of over explicit amore. The tiff would reaffirm the need to come back and establishes the primary feeling of love. Its like playing tug of war when winning is not important staying in the game is !