TrAnSgReSs: i m sorry

Monday, March 21, 2011

i m sorry

I really dont know how to get over this..

how to get it out of me

have to bear what i am in...

but its new as this was never ever difficult before.

Its new and strange

and killing me to core..

i want to talk and tell and explain..

but i have nothing to say

I know i have to say something..

A lot in fact but don't know what!

I will fight without a reason and then cry to say sorry,

I will shed a tear and still don't know why i m crying...

If anything could make it better

I m sure it wont work now...

Does this mean it would increase with time

the inability to put a finger on something which bothers me

I hate myself for acting insane.

I have no logical reasoning.

Its an addiction i m falling prey to..

Its sad i react this way!

I m sorry!

1 comment:

ashok said...: Cannot say what bothers you at times unless you share ,but I am sure of one thing that it is very destructive to relations around who may feel why they should be dependent upon someone's mood .Something snaps away from relations for ever despite sincere apologies .
I have learnt that we always have a choice ---of acting or reacting .
By reacting ,one becomes subordinate to others ,one is always at mercy of others ,that is ,others are controlling your response .
Instead of reacting when we choose to act ,we take decisions as a mature person .
Choice is always ours ,---act or react .; June 23, 2011 at 6:18 AM

Stress and ME!!!

Somebody gives me stress i wanna take it easy... and somebody is not taking stress .. i get impatient. its a dichotomy! : My favorite person!

This hold true for me, I am a person strong and firm if you throw a challenge at me. I will sure i can achieve it i will not fret. But if i know a mission is supposed to be accomplished it would not happen in my life without stress. Stress makes me work, it makes me achieve the goal i always want to achieve. It helps me keep a check on myself. I can work without taking stress , but stress to a certain threshold, a threshold which is always positive.

I am what i am ....

There is nothing that stops me from becoming what i am ,but still i stop by and look back , never to forget everyone who is responsible for what i am today , good or bad ! they say "you are what you are "they tell me to believe that "environment is a reflection of your own self". But if that holds true then , i am what i am because of my surroundings .

Its just a corollary i am because of the environment and i thank every single part of the universe every single protective force in the nature to make me be what i am .

I don't always take the complete credit!

The Secret...

Today morning my dad asked me , what is magic , sadhu's do it a lot of times . People revere them and touch the feat .What is it trickery or is it real .

I just had one thing to say , if it is trick it is for you to see . and if it is in real it is for you to believe .

I told him when people share experiences in life of what they got mystically was exactly what they wanted " Its no magic, it is plain simple coincidence "as some may say . But i believe in it . i listen to those experiences and learn from them .I learn the art of perseverance and persistence

they just make my faith stronger in the underlying principal of LAW of ATTRACTION. the biggest SECRET . what you want you would get , what you want will happen . Just pamper your desires and the nature and it Magic will abet you , surround you , and pick you up and conveniently place you where you always had tantalized about .

It appears mystic .but its true .its the secret. try it .

life is like a ...

Life is like a suttaa .. it goes on burning and burning and burning ... starts flowing up in the air into the non existent . You dont even realize when it started ....and in no time when the half of it became smoke and rest turned into ash.

Is makes you cough , break and stumble and even then fall in love with it . it its so addictive that you are afraid to leave life and enter into the hands of death.

All that is gained is that all the passive smokers enjoy your life (the fag!) . And you end up loosing it ...

Incoming and Outgoing

Its balanced at least the most of it.My friend had a baby. Its literally came out from no where. I feel blessed to be a women, to have experience this feeling in the long run. Its so fascinating and amazing. The feeling of being a mother comes later. Having to build something at living a human being itself its like god role. You have made it.Its out of you. This feeling is shocking and surreal.Some one so new enters into the big wild world. Doesn't know anyone. It's so welcomed to be a part. On the other hand there one person who leaves the world living in his her life. Leaving everybody behind alone.

This is part of life Some one does a grand incoming and another a dim outgoing.

My way!

May be i am in habit of listening to other people too much . i say that because the people i share my feelings with are the ones who matter to me the most .. but recently i have seen a change in my acceptance level . i saw that today in my behavior . it does not matter , to me what they are suggesting me to do. what matters to me i what i think about the actions i took today .

May be i should be wiser..and not react so spontaneously . But ,why ... thats how i am ... i proud of acting that . to put my point forward what i have learnt and what i would want to portray .

My words clearly speak about my thoughts and intentions .. i don't gamble with words.and love putting my point forward even when i am not asked for it .

I might not be taken sportingly by my surrounding recently , but i care less..

and my point to write this today seen a change "i do care less"

i worry less . i listen less . and i do what my wisdom conjure me to do . I mite be wrong . i will learn but i will learn my way....