hold me back, pulls me in .. drives me into to the retrospective
as if this force can reduce it to 21 again,
i bear the brunt and try and relish the feeling.
it was then when i was young , even though i am at this precipice now,
i used to think how old these women are,
but somehow as my age is growing , i feel i am same as young.
i doubt my thoughts of then and now,
i see my self like this and ask how,
mistaken i was to think them so old,when i am as young as i am told .
though its childhood sunken expectation
that sees in me someone that i am as yet not one.
but no matter what it takes the thought does take,
the courage to say i am forever young.
i am despising the ticking clock,
and hating the changing calender.
i wish i had the disease that makes me grow younger as i grow old.
i hate women who are older but look younger ,
and do anything that would make this increase flounder.
i wish i could raze all the yardsticks that could prove my nascence.
and get back to where i want to start again the raisins and crayons opalescence.
Is there by anyway i could be an adult and play like the child does,
but this time i would value the Barbie doll.
I would color the drawing book, with more intricacy.
i know i would be better now, as i am not a child anymore.
but want to compensate for all that i missed back then.
and grow up a different way.
The child in me is always awake and playing,
i don't have to prove that.
probably that child saves my grace off goes my age.
I wish that child doesn't get scared of the increasing numbers and growing rage!
5 comments:
its a sweet poem..
especially these lines..
"but this time i would value the Barbie doll.
I would color the drawing book, with more intricacy."
sometimes i also think, if i become younger, then i'll do all the things, which i dint do (or if did wrongly)..
when i watched movie "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time", i thought, is it possible, if i could get some such kind of weapon (or will say, a Gift from God), which will send me back to my past, and i could revert all the things, which i did wrong. It could be in any field, may be in study, in love, in any relationship, whatever... I just want it...
But at the same time, i know, it only happens in movies and game... :)
What to say of this compulsive obsession !!!!!!
Can you tell me even one reason why you want to stay young forever ?
Give me just one reason.
Why this obsession with the physical age ?
One extra wrinkle on face and the whole world shatters .
Mood is spoiled for days ,months and,,,,,,,,,
Then one more wrinkle appears ,,,,.
Barbara Cartland says ''I prefer diamonds to men since diamonds last forever.'' It became a very famous one-liner .Women went all ga-ga over it ,for it highlighted the perceived weakness of men as women understood.
But women made one mistake .
They forgot the basic assumption behind this one- liner .
And this assumption was that woman is a glue .
From this assumption of being a glue came the yearning for staying young forever .
If you delve deeply into the reasons of staying young ,you will find the reasons are similar to what women charge men with being lecherous.
Not surprisingly ,trillion of dollars are invested in cosmetic industry & many times over in gold & jewellery ,just to keep the false hopes of women alive.
It is only much later in life that women realise that this glue is non-sticky .
Glue that actually works is different .
And that glue is transparency,sincerity,integrity,lack of double standards,emotional maturity,empathy..........
Of course for staying young without turning it into an obsession is much simpler ,,,,,just a bit of exercise .
As for as ''child in us '' is concerned ,it depends on us ,there can be child in 70 years old ,for the ''child'' means ..
one who explores
one who does everything with enthusiasm
one who is not burdened with past nor concerned with future
one who is playful
one who stays in present
one for whom every day is a new day
''Child'' is a concept ,,,,a thought .You can preserve it all through .
Child does not get scared with physical age ,he will keep enjoying till death.
wel wel wel, yes you are right ... no heart should be young, thats your point here ... probably i would think of this phrase when i would be 50...
write every increasing year expects me to be mature ... but i am same girl!
And when i say when i looked up to my elder ans seniors at school and their big brothers and sisters at an age of 24 25...I my self you used to think ... how big they are and how mature they would be .. etc et etc .. but now that i am in this age .. i feel i am the same .. no difference
My point was not ''no heart should be young '',,,,in fact every one ,young or old ,should have a ''child'' in them .I have seen 70 years old with a ''child'' in them
if he is enthusiastic,playful,has an appetite for learning .Also , I have seen 20 years old with a ''child'' dead in them .
Having a ''child'' is an attitude that not many have.
This ''child'' has nothing to do with chronological age .
Being childish is altogether a different thing .
and thats what i am... child....is always there ... probably thats what i am exactly feeling the age has grown but i still feel as young as i was .. when i left school . probabaly i would need somebody you saw me then and meets me now... to tell me the difference
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