M high

M just too high on myself.

Can you take me higher ... to a place with All of Me .

Loving this phase where its all about me . M Living life the way i want to .

My dreams, my choices , My picks.

My mistakes are so mine. I have a reasoning , a thought behind every one of them .

I am not regretting ,but i am surely learning .

Not closed my eyes ,yet they are not only looking for Moralistic ideals i follow .

Its just may be the positivity . or it may be the flinging of the Cassandra in"Me".

its not narcissism, and why m i even clarifying, even if it is, its totally worth it.

So beautiful it is to fall in love with yourself.

i heard this statement , its a different feeling to experience it.

Its not just "Its all right"any more ,

Every day and every hour i feel its Just right!

oh it was worth , it was worth all that while .

Its something unpredictable , but in the end its right .

Can you take me higher , the place where there is all of me.

So go there , so let me go there . Let me ask Can I stay !!!

If You Could Format Life.....

Man made the computer and if its loaded with things you can easily format it ! without finding out where the bugs are, which file could be removed or modified, we just choose to format it, for convenience sake!Thank god,that he dint give us the sluggards that option to experiment with life.

There is a purpose of the virus detectors and softwares, with which they identify the problem delete it, quarantine it or resolve it.Man could make these applications as he could learn from his life the gamboling art of tackling problems. He has learnt the way of living life is to grapple with it and not run away.

As I read the other day some where, i think it was a book title "Running away is easy, its coming home thats difficult". Metaphorically speaking, coming home, when said means dealing with it, fighting with it and annihilating it.Yes its difficult, but thats how you go about it. In fact thats the only way to get out of it.

Formatting is no option,like running away is of no consequence . If we could format life, its sounds roseate but we are ignoring what we would loose in this gamble.Sins would be committed and would be just erased out of life, people would experiment and then extricate it out the process.They would care less to be scrupulous enough to step ahead. The risk taking would be there without any moral mores.

Its good we have no options like that, at least now we can mend things. At least now we can exercise the art of living daubed with some critical thinking .At least now we can work towards the making the kitsch, a little better that as a part of our Quotidian activities .At least now we have the chance to learn and not commit the same sin again .

....

Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away !

The Nemesis

I think recently this column of my blog has become a part of "Snippets of how i discover myself".This one is about how retribution is important for me.

I believe in paying back the debt !

No matter how mirthful or painful it shall be , I am not divine , i expect because i give , i expect because i deserve . I deserve because i work towards giving the one who i believe deserves as well .

I shall promise to give pain if i am hurt . and i shall promise to give triple the amount of joy if i am cared for . this is by the way , by no intention of mine any matrimonial add nor is linda goodman's oeuvres to tell personality traits , I am writing today after learning a new attribute , i thought i will wait for the time where i would be taken revenge from , because i can be horrendously bad, but i am left with my scrupulous imagination to fill my self with pseudo happiness , awaiting a revenge from the opposite side.

I feel weaker if the other person is divine enough to let my faults go . I hate the feeling of not been taken revenge from .

I have done bad in all my senses and i am waiting for the other persons retribution the revenge .

I have prepared myself for the brawl with a mace in hand.I have lifted my spirits higher above so that they can quelled to bring down to normal.

But How can some one be so powerful and harsh that without saying a word they can ashen my efforts!

May be i can overtly be impressed with my loss , i mite go apologize and ask the reason " why no retaliation ?". But somewhere, i wonder what kind of a person cannot just be affected at all. He/she should have reacted . Oh ! you cant just let it go ! inside i do doubt the existence of temerity in their personality .

Hollering Out?

Vagaries of life , facets of moods,

I ferret out happiness , living a life of a buffoon.

I should think how I can innervate felicity .

I end up concentrating , how to belittle melancholy .

No matter how much I restrain ,

I would not be irascible.

I am told things that don’t mean a fleck,

To act sane is totally implausible.

I know I am right , but I don’t want to hurt .

I know I can control , but I want to blurt.

May be something is in my mind that tells me that someday I might teach.

I try harder every time , but I loose every time .

I don’t loose because I am incapable of putting my point forthright , I yearn .

I don’t win because teaching dosn’t guarantee , where there is inability to learn .

I start my day with a positive thought ,

Yet I open my eyes in the world around me in fracas .

I despise the figments of my lacerated imagination .

I want them to go away, But even if they do stay ,

Please don't meddle my lucid cognition .

what is required?

How do you always do things ? Do you always plan in advance and go ahead with it ? Or you just start doing it !

I always thought, the former one should be followed to have simple and a solved life. this approach can make a person more future oriented ,you would weigh the pros and cons of each action and be cautious of each and every step you take .But i realized sometimes people who do follow such an approach end up doing things for which they don't have an explanation for . you start doing something ,you are not sure of it but you begin doing it , in anticipation that sooner or later during the course of action, your would make your heart and mind agree at a single point and only then would you succeed . but my question is, is it wrong to take such steps? would you succeed if you heart and mind both are not into it, purely because you are not sure you want to do that ?

On the contrary i feel you can succeed! The passion has nothing to do with heart, mind , soul etc . you might not want to do something but you still can accomplish it with passion !

Passion, zest, zeal, to stick to your decision is required . Fanaticism is required to achieve your goal , no heart or logistics, no mind, no connection, no future ! all these might connect and click in between the course of time .if they do , you are sure shot a winner already! because now you know what you want . but if don't know you can still achieve what you have decided for with just a single point decision making . you put your heart into it may you achieve it way early than otherwise . but nothing would stop you from achieving it if you have the determination and passion . the heart and mind can come later i presume , i might be wrong ..!!

Exhibitionism of women

I don’t know if I should hate the experience . but I hated the sight , I hated the time when I was thinking what might be going on in the minds of the parents of the girl .

The parents with their daughter have travelled long distance to meet the boys family , almost ready to accept proposal .They come in with the optimistic attitude but the attitude changes eventually after they see the reactions of the prospective boys family , the reactions they get to see are not bad or offensive but yes, not optimistic as much as with what the girls family had arrived . and from that moment onwards I start feeling the awkwardness in the air .

How can the her parents act like that , what makes them act like as if they are selling a product . I am not angry but I am feeling pity on them. they don’t deserve it , that feeling should be of being proud , the girl says "yes" to the proposal may be because of the parents pressure,her dad has retired and is not keeping well . I felt yesterday she has no power or a stand with BA , MA and all higher studies in best possible education modes , she is still helpless , in no way can she say no! though she is being asked by all, but it’s like well rehearsed! she just cannot be expected to say "no"!

She has to accept ! she says “whatever is good and you think is right for me shall be my decision”. I hate the exhibitionism of women in order to get them married, she could not speak but of course burst out into tears sitting in front of about 15 people , a timid girl , being gawked at by all but the perspective boy. parents trying to push and strike a chord . “ of yes she can talk” of yes she can cook “ oh she can dance ! Wah! Why can’t she speak for her own self. May be if she does she would be thought of as too modern and if she doesn’t she looks like a commodity that is being sold .and on top of that if there has been no conformance from the boys side . the girl’s parents are almost broken .

It’s like they stand nowhere after crossing a distance of miles in hot summer afternoon . trying to smile even at a time they are scared to hell and then going back with no positive sign at all..

I hate it. i am disturbed and I feel helpless as I can’t do anything about this antediluvian process which can never be changed .

I respect women for leaving their life behind their parents their studies their room their friends their books their dresses their relatives their life their dreams , and stand there to be accepted and taken into a house where she knows no one !just for the sake of being taken!

The way she used to talk to parents she can’t now may just on phone . it’s more like a dog when its left for a day home when his owner goes out to work . he has no choice but to go.. he doesn’t know where is he being left , he just trusts his master . he believes no one is going to hit him there … he just believes the day school would as good as home , he would eat drink play just like home… he doesn’t ask or question just stays there for the day sitting there at the corner finding out that nothing is alike.

Worse in the case of a girl. She stays there for life .

I was a staunch feminist . but after this event may be I feel no one should have a girl child , because what the girl has go through at this stage of life (I know it’s a part and parcel of life , but still)and primarily because parents don’t deserve to behave the way they do just to give their daughter away !!! It’s a big insult for the daughter to see them that way! Peace Out!

A holy predicament !

I don't understand the concept of an atheist , they call themselves as the non believers ,they denunciate gods existence , they do not even care to question the existence of any superpower residing in the universe . They blatantly abjure the prevalence .

Where as a theist, a believer , lives life,day in and day out in reverence of the same superpower , which they themselves accept is beyond explanation but believe that it pervades. they believe, i emphasize just "believe" that the energy of some form penetrates all forms living or non living .

For putting their point on to the table of ratiocination they become extremely possessive and bring forth the fanaticism. They fight and argue endlessly only on their basis of their belief. They might not have any proof but they fight to safeguard their fundamental understanding of their own existence and they can never have that shaken .

The other side of table sits the argumentative atheist who fights for the non existence and feels glorious enough that it has no such concoctions about some existence of god etc. They feel wise and worthy of explanation and renouncing the belief of of a theist.They don't realize with same fanatic attitude they take part in the bickering.They fight with the same fundamentalism, just that the difference is, that the reasoning is in support of the non believers .

I feel their is precisely no difference between atheist and a theist. Both are staunch believers

one just believes and one truly believes in not believing at all. If I mute their discussion its difficult for me to decide who is on which side.

The closest to me is an agnostic , who switches the role on either side . Who does not believe but does not stop the cognition. He is ever ready to take in whatever makes him believe .May be, he does not believe, but he questions the existence .He participates but not to conclude , he is not fanatic he might be passionate, he does not blindly follow weather believing or non believing...!

I say he is the closest, as he is closest to the truth , he closest to reality , he is closest to being "gNostic". He is closest to experiencing it!

Agnosticism leads the path to experiencing the god , becoming a nostic, and then you do not need to sit across the table and fight. You don't have to prove to the world , you would have experienced GOD! you don't have to be a believer or a non believer . You have witnessed it and now you don't have to testify . This is the ultimate pedestal to achieve while undergoing the human revolution of your spiritual self .

Open the eyes of blind figurine .

one proposed thought which is widely understood as "law is blind" .

how are you suppose to justify the irony established between the explanation of one thought in two different ways ?

the law is blind to help people get justice without any partiality or the law is blind that its inability to decipher and see who is right and who wrong has eventually evaded.

Some times i feel the the symbolism relevance of the white statue standing with a balancing scale in its hand having its eyes blind folded , now holds no importance if its pointing towards any optimistic thought or image creation of that sorts in the minds of masses , it has failed miserably.

When I saw the statue the 1st thing I interpreted was surprisingly totally in contradiction to

what it is required to portray . with increasing conclusions and judgments of injustice all i could think was how rightly the "Kaanoon" itself portrays that it is blind and nor does it want to make and effort to open its eyes and see who is right and deserving .

The lady probably would one day want to cut open the blindfold herself to see whats going on .

The connotation now perceived is truly justifying the state of affairs .I would be hard to change! Either change the blind figurine or go one to one to give an explanation of its purpose of being there , Either turn the face or open the its eyes , probably then we could relate. what is "kaanoon" the law , that serves for us

Make him grow with a pet ....

He takes him like an elder brother .He is not pampered like an only child in any family , he not jealous or unnoticed , like how it feels when you become an elder one.

He is mature and he reacts responsibly . He loves taking care , he notices people . He has these values inculcated in him not by spoon feeding but by his own learning, learning from his immediate surroundings . He has never shown a spurge of jealousy or questioned the attention of his parents as since the time of his birth , even though, he has been the 1st child of the parents, he has received the love and was always taken care of , but he , has been the 2nd sibling of the family therefore he is not alone.

Since that very day this child appreciates the existence of the 1st baby family member and for him an elder brother !Their dog!

The irony is when the child was very young the dog took care of him , played with him and the child never missed his parents love nor did he get pampered by overt attention but now when he has grown up a little he takes care of the dog his elder brother , instilling in himself , a sense of maturity , he feels the pain when the dog is ill or sad.

He conscious of his existence and havoc sometimes the dog creates at home and scolds him for that . Automatically I have observed the child growing up without anyone else's nettling . He holds responsibility of the dog's food habits and walks and that makes his life and schedule quite disciplinarian .

Even though he knows he is younger and relishes the pedestal he has gotten at such an early age in his own family.

The best way to groom your child is to make him grow with a dog in the house, its death is the biggest lesson he would eventually learn and will be ready for the world outside . Being Humane and being shockproof . It will make him what today we keep endlessly trying to make our children , a better person!

Randomness and the blissful existence..

Lost in the air like a polythene , tugged away safe in the wind .

little good byes may be , but just a passing smile .

Can somebody hear me , i am screaming from so far away .

Morning wouldn't haunt me now , evening would eclipse away

Blame it on your self.

Accusation , Pin Pointing , Blame Games !

You do that , you pick fist full of mud and you throw at the other person ... you were hurt therefore you will make it sure you make the other person feel bad as well.you go ahead with the vitriolic attack, but then at that moment we forget we are not just attacking the other person but in turn 1st we are spoiling our hands by picking up the weapon of mud.

In order to attack we forget that we are 1st degrading ourselves and coming to a level where we castigate the other person .we hold the fist of full of mud 1st in our own hands and only then throw at the other person . Also you never know in the span of aiming we might not aim right and more often the half of it drops down in the projection trajectory .... may be only few particles reach the person .But you forget you picked the whole of it .

The total act of picking up and aiming at the other defiles your image . The other mite just laugh it away .

Up above the world so high!!!

Lets take a look at life , as a journey , through different phases good and bad. ups and downs . some times we encounter moments where we crib and lament about it . we may see whats going wrong in our present state of life and start building up a picture of our own state of life in a very negative way .

We never realize the way we look is incorrect . the comparison we make is illogical. we compare the present with what we expect it to be ,what we expect it to be in future . And thats where we commit the felony . What we should look at, is the comparison of present with the past . where we used to be and where we are now.

when i was young my parents used to tell my brother when he got less marks in class test that he should not compare with the low graders and be happy instead he should compare with toppers.

i am not questioning this teaching , it might be correct . even in the case of life's journey when we strive harder , compete and set an aim we should look beyond all failures and set targets of profound future. but when we crib and when we cry and when we rate ourselves , we should always consider our past as a measuring parameter.

the mountain peak is where you want to reach one day . 1st ,just the thought of getting at the zenith is important . it makes you begin . but on the contrary just the thought isin't important enough . wriggling around it would not make you climb it . going around in circles would not make you cover the acclivity .

what you need to start taking is diligent steps upwards.

there shall be moments where you will feel its been hours and days that you have been trying and still the peak seems far away . you may want to cry out loud .but how much you have covered can only be seen when you turn around and look the valley down below.. the miles you have covered and the beautiful view from up above that makes you feel the colossal task you have accomplished.

Reaching there is an important part , but how you get there is the most important . Mind It the last few steps can be the most difficult ones.

Fangs of the Mammoth

You don't realize the tentacles of addiction until one day you decide to raise you hands stretch out and breath . You fail miserably in doing that .You stand scandalized as soon as you see your self struggling out of the mammoth's prehensile fangs . Quite comfortable are you there ?isint it . with its touch and the warmth . less that you know , that he is not gonna let you go ...well actually you are very well apprised of this act. but you choose to keep your eyes closed or make your self comfortable in the ever encompassing and strifeling arms which were once around your feet and now reached your neck.

Strength and determination breaks and you fall on your knees , but are not able to rip apart the killer fangs . no matter how much it is tried they just pull you back .It is then you realize how easy it is to give in , but is near to impossible to even think to giving it up .

But for me its not the fault of the mammoth . He was never so strong . he was always waiting just there with open arms and you never left the opportunity to go an hug him . he entangles you more only because you close you eyes more . He sucks more out of you because he knows you are allowing him to.

He says in his white well dressed way "i am injurious to health " but you never mind giving up yourself to his open arms . its no fault of his . it was not his choice it was always your choice .

He would not let you go , until he has taken all the love YOU wanted to give him . the moment you decide to love your self and not love the mammoth , the fangs will open up . there shall not be any struggle ... there shall not be any fight ... you shall breath the pure air.... just as before .... live life for your self !