Hollering Out?

Vagaries of life , facets of moods,

I ferret out happiness , living a life of a buffoon.

I should think how I can innervate felicity .

I end up concentrating , how to belittle melancholy .

No matter how much I restrain ,

I would not be irascible.

I am told things that don’t mean a fleck,

To act sane is totally implausible.

I know I am right , but I don’t want to hurt .

I know I can control , but I want to blurt.

May be something is in my mind that tells me that someday I might teach.

I try harder every time , but I loose every time .

I don’t loose because I am incapable of putting my point forthright , I yearn .

I don’t win because teaching dosn’t guarantee , where there is inability to learn .

I start my day with a positive thought ,

Yet I open my eyes in the world around me in fracas .

I despise the figments of my lacerated imagination .

I want them to go away, But even if they do stay ,

Please don't meddle my lucid cognition .