My closest of friends who chose to decide over a period of one month, the month that i have not spent there in their life's,have decided to go ahead with what is called a fast forward wedding plan and even before i could complete the breath of shock i received, they had already tied a knot.
I am Enthralled and to mention that would just be in vain as there is nothing important to me than this occasion. The time invested by me in the fights and problem solving for these friends of mine who have finally decided to spent rest of their lives together gives a sigh of relief.I love them all and m so happy and unfortunate to be not there.
I am happy for each one of them(i dont want to count who all ), there are no doubts about that! But there is this one feeling which is holding me back and making me question my own self. a question that brings a smile on my face again ... Am i still a kid? Am i still a kid, still stuck somewhere in 19 and 20 years of age? When i do calculate my present age it gives me goosebumps. Of what i thought people at 24 would think like i still do not(Valid reason to have some in heated rooms!) I am also not usually wrong of how i perceive my friends i have known then since time immemorial, i exactly know the reasoning behind their actions and decisions. I have guided them and know they think so unlike me and thats where i play my role of existing in their life's!
In order to test my level of thinking now, i decide to judge them and realize they are where i expect them to be not very far from me.They are still the same for me.the same discussions and the same reactions, same actions and same decisions...... except one. They have under all possibilities and in large numbers decided to simultaneously take a decision to gt married. What did they all eat in that one month that they could think on the lines that am i choosing not to think.(its just may be my absence)
The other thought still lurking through my brain.....What marriage has to do with age? Is there something called the marriageable age? Physiologically-- all crap!if not ....then get married at 20.
Why only 23 24 25 26!
I would define may be something called "Marriageable Mind", this term deserves more respect that any thing else. People much younger to me are married and people much older to me are still not thinking about it.
How do you end up putting a finger- "Bang"!!! I want to go ahead with it?
May be if you are academically satiated and financially stable it gives you enough licence to put a mature thought to this deal. But if you are not, does that mean you are not ready to get into such kind of an arrangement. The answer usually people give is that can not take care of responsibilities so soon! My parents started there life's together when they had like the minimum wages ever...once upon a time.May be this one is just an excuse.(which many have been stating)
More over is it solely in you hands to get married? I am sure many who do get married, got done because people around them thought they should. I just plainly repeat "How do you decide"?
Its not that i don't want to get married ever... but scares me to see people with me and around me, people i called my people are already in it (look at me stating marriage at something so scary)but it is scaring, I don't know what it means to me. I am sure it means a lot, but when will it start meaning a lot to me i will realize its not scary!
i am sure will not be a run away bride.... i will go ahead with a smile... but what now... tell me why they went ahead with it... are they not with me...or have i lagged behind??
2 comments:
Hey Sonal,
Saw you post the blog in the lecture today. Your writing style is nice and this post was good too!
Visit my blog if you wish to.
Sanket
When a kid ,I often visited my Naanaji at a village in Punjab forty years ago ,more than anything else what I remember is women gathering at a place weaving durries ,grinding spices ,stitching garments ,doing embroidery ,knitting sweaters -----not for sale ---but for the personal use of the family .
Imagine they doing it along with cooking meals for much bigger families ,and washing clothes with a wooden bat .
A normal scenario in every family just forty years back .
Think of the work they did then .
Now more than 90 % of domestic work has been taken over by commercial instituions or the machines at home .
Spices ,garments ,sweaters ,durries are available off the shelf in a market ,a woman does not have to slog now .
In comparison ,the domestic work is a trickle now .
A woman with a skill in household chores was a role model ,she was a complete woman if she had this skill .
Now this skill has dwindled in importance for obvious reasons.
Woman is becoming skillful outside the ambit of household ,and she must do it well ,there is no alternative .
You have to acquire skill outside and constantly improve on it .
For me your decision of going for higher education is the best you can ever take in life ,you have to be one with not just a skill but with a tremendous skill ,you have to be known as a woman with substance .
This skill or the substance is the only thing that will be with you throughout life ,it would be purely yours ,and a source of extreme happiness ----like women with skill in the past .
Love your work ,give it the best you can ,only then can you be a better wife and a mother -----a wife or a mother who is known by her own substance than as an extension to a husband or children .
The questions that come to your mind are valid but don't look at them from a perspective of delay .
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