"Your Name" - The Jewel closest yet farthest from you

Its most certain that you could guess what my favorite alphabet is going to be... S!

you might think its because of my name, it start with S and so the Letter....and therefore my favorite. but to bring the truth out in the open, its just the other way round. Me being the narcissist, love every part of me because it is that way. But when it comes to my name , knowing that it was kept, by my parents without putting much thought, i might not have liked it so much with a ring of "taps" in it .But the reason it belongs to me more than anything else , courtesy the alphabet S.

You some how grow with name, it may be one of the 1st sane things you learn about your own self. One of the 1st things that make you interact with the world. In spite of the fact that it being the identity that stays with you, travels with you, is you, is something that you can not take credit for.Its given to you by your parents with love.you accept it over the years and start to connect with it.

You know when you name is being called in the role call in the class, its you. You turn around when a friend calls over. But have you ever sat with your own self and repeated you name over 20 time without any reason just to realize, its you!Try it. Well I have experienced it and can say that it is the time when you start connecting to yourself. You take the 1st step of feeling the real you.I know many would disagree with this concept of name affecting your personality. I do have doubts myself whether being ARJUN makes you life as miserable as it was for the real "Arjun". But i do strongly believe in its corollary, i believe connecting to yourself starts when you connect with your name.

I doubt if many people follow this approach because its like "the name" is for the outer world. People know you by it . Thats you identity,but it is for the rest to know and call you. They see you as person "XYZ" because thats your name.But how often do we call ourselves? A very successful psychological therapy makes you talk to your own self. By calling your self with your name with confidence and hope in voice. It make you instill in your own self the faith and courage. Just by speaking to your own self and exclaiming yourself by your own name you can do wonders.thats the power in your name, no matter what is means. Very few times do we realize, that something we are so close to, "our name", something that is only ours, is actually something we never paid attention to..it just stays on and on with us and we choose to ignore the surmounting untapped power that resides in it.

When i did that myself, the ring was different.I felt i was a different person when I hear my name being called out by others and i was different person as I called it out to myself over and over again. World around me wouldn't have accepted that disparaging attitude of mine towards my name when it bought me face to face with person with the same name. She was a person i spent maximum time with my friend from graduate school. My name was no more mine.It was her's and i wasn't jealous at all. I have not tried, since then, the closure exercise of being close to my name because now i exactly knew how it sounded like, how it felt like when i say it loud or shout it out. I had all the liberty to do all all that i wanted to without being tagged as an insane person who repeats her name herself. This was because it was no more my name. It was her's or may be our name. I dont know if she ever pondered on this, but the feeling was mutual. Its a rare and I must say a very different feeling to hang out all day long with a person when you call each other with same name.

I have had moments when i have felt far or close to my name. But one thing i could never let go was the love for my alphabet S. That was something which I had established that even though its a part of mine as well as many others name, it had what i loved, the style. I dont know how you would find it, but the reason is the shape i love the alphabet for its shape. I love the alphabet for its sound...the phonetic .I love the alphabet for its artistic sense of taking different forms.I love the alphabet as its so feminine, and above all i love it as its in my name.