I hate the word obligation .I hate it as it dilutes the feelings, the emotions.
When you say “obligation” what is it exactly that you are pointing out at? It’s usually pointed out at the emotional angst in which the other person is , probably the loss of words, usually this feeling is because of the thankfulness that is quite difficult to express otherwise. I totally detest this word because it quite conveniently degrades the feeling of respect and thankfulness towards the other person by tagging it as an obligation!
I understand no one helps the other if they do not want or if the other doesn’t deserve the aid, the words like “NO”, and “CANNOT” are coined to help you come out of that kind of a situation. But out of profound respect for someone or something you express your gratitude in case you are helped, it is usually misinterpreted as “Obligation”. I feel this word possesses a strong negative connotation which just surmises the actual feeling of gratification towards the other .
You might not always be feeling “small” or as someone who has been given a charity by being helped, that you tag the emotional outburst as “under the feeling of obligation”. People usually just express a thankful and appreciative gesture, they would want to do something in return, probably repeatedly just say Thanks! This I feel satiates the inner emptiness of not being able to convey the message really being thankful and not being obliged.
Life is all about give and take, helping others making other feel good ,doing good and spreading good. Its all a balanced act , one gives other receives, one gets up and the other falls . We should probably not count who’s done how much and for whom in what capacity, We should keep thanking and respecting the gestures and in turn keeping doing them ourselves. And Stop Calling it as an obligation act .
9 comments:
This is exactly my point of view too .I can add only a liner or two to this wonderful piece you have written .
Never feel obliged to anybody ...it is not worth it ....it is not an emotion or a feeling ...staying obliged means reducing your self.
I have liked the intensity that you have brought in this writing .wonderful.
please dont say "staying obliged" i noe what you are trying to . but my point is that there nothing called as obligation . there is no feeling called obligation . what you feel is just a thankfullnes gesture respect ..happiness.!! call it ne thing .. but not obligation ..!!!
I can see where you are coming from...maybe this does come from personal experience.I picked this up from wordweb,"every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity, an obligation; every possession, a duty". The second part of this expression conversely put sort of vindicates your ideology.
hey is this modgill uncle ..?
thanx
you can post with your name next time ...
Let us explore more on obligation .Once you dived into a river ,unable to swim ,you finding the death so near fainted.Aperson passing by brought you out & you were saved.Had he not saved you ,you would have sure died.To what extent you will feel obliged ? Or not at all ?? Further ,that person makes certain small demands on you,eg ,once his maid-servant dint turn up ,he called you to wash utensils,please note that he doesnot order you but says so lovingly.Would you refuse or not ,give reasons
f you have saved my life i may thank you the way i want you . . its my good fortune that you saved me , and its your good fortune that you have gained by saving me . so its ends there ! i may thank you for it , i may rever you for it .. but cant be your servant, i havn't changed after drowning in the sea nothing is washed away of me , i am the same person , my personality is same my morals are same . i don't wash utensils even for people i love untill i fell like doing . btw may i can utensils for the one who saved me..... on a second thought
''i am the same person ,my personality is same ,my morals are same ''......it is a gem .
But your ''on a second thought .........btw i can wash utensils for the one who saved me '' ,for me ,it touches the core of obligation ,it is your this sentence that separates obligation from your personality ,can you elaborate on your second thought ?? you are almost there i know
dont i like respect to the extent of revering them , and detest people to an extent of hating them . if i feel like and i know the person is not misusing me .. i may wash utensils ""as well""
if obligation is such a non-entity,why it has drawn an intense reaction ??
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