I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations... Its been proven time an again. You act with others just as you want others to behave with you. Your behavior towards some one is summation of your personality, your upbringing and a part of it also because of that is how you would want the other to be with you. Alot of times it happens when u think giving a gift to some one, the 1st thing that comes to your mind is something you would like to get. Most of us also go right ahead and do those things for others for we expect them to back to us, primarily because we would love it. A relationship is always about giving and taking. You give in order to expect the same thing from the other . You show hope in others distress in order to expect the other to serve the ray of hope when you are in need. You transfer information to others and tell them about updates in life, and of course to expect they would tell you about their own. But during this phase of give and take , doing action to expect a reaction we forget that that people are different. every one does not think on the same lines. every one has a set of priority list that cast on to. They might not think the future you expect is of importance right now. But you are not wrong in expecting and neither is the other wrong in not giving. The other can also be on this side of table some time and he would also face his own set of disappointments when you do not live up to their expectations. This happens and its healthy, both share each others set of disappointments and life is balanced and healthy.
What screws up the whole situation when you try and impose your expectations on others . when others disappoint you and prove them that you expected something else. You contest the behavior and you explicitly underlay what wanted and have done or said if you were in this position. By laying down your expectation on table you just cement yourself as control freak who would want the other to behave as a robot. when you try and explain them to the other person it comes out as some one who crazy. some one who expects you to behave the way you want them to behave some one who either wants to know everything or some one who either wants to know future. and after asking such predominantly stupid question there area set of answers you would expect. If you do not get those answers or actions from the other you think they committed a crime . The other becomes a criminal because you would have not done the same thing you would have acted the way you expecting the other to act like. But little do we forget we would act like that only because we know what to act like. They are at the beginning our expectations and we ourselves very well know what we want.
Little does the other know that thing is important for you and they need to pay attention towards it just like the way want them to pay attention. Next comes the phase of over explicit explanation of what u require and that kills it all. you are just mocked at and thought of why would you think that the other would do that. you just become this little annoying person who would always search for what you want forgetting the others works in own way.
Trying to fulfill others expectations also brings another episode of changing your personality forward in any relationship. which is worse i do not even want to go there.
All i think and always take away after every disappointment you get is You can't expect everyone to have the same dedication as you. you are different, like every one else. you might work hard and express in one area the other might to brilliantly well in something else but basing any relationship future on failure of any sort of expectations is wrong. Every one would work around their priority list of actions and causes they have to make. to expect them to make our list as their priority is injustice. Like i said no one is as perfect as you are !
